With so very many recent projects from the ex-prince (sort of) and actor, it seemed a good time to hear about Harry and Meghan from not only their side of things, but the other side.
I’m hoping to get a good and varied picture of everything, WITHOUT reading Spare (I’d really rather not read about Harry’s first time, todger or kill count thank you!). I’ve picked two books, but first let me share my basic knowledge going into this endeavour.
My Background Knowledge
I’ve never been particularly interested in the royal family. They were there, I respect them well enough and don’t see any reason to ditch them or keep them – I’ve been pretty apathetic. The only exception was the lovely late Queen. I really liked her.
So when it came to finding out about Harry finally settling down with someone in a serious capacity (I had seen and heard random things about him over the years but mostly, didn’t engage), I was actually happy to recognise who he was going to marry. I was a fan of Suits since the start, and thought that Racheal Zane was a good character. I’m also not a “celebrity mad” person – so even though I will look into actor and musician personal lives occasionally, for the most part it is a surface peruse.
Along their journey, I was on the side of giving them both the benefit of the doubt. Media coverage can often be unfair, and one sided – particularly when encouraged not to respond – but that doesn’t mean it’s ALL lies, all of the time. However, I wanted to be fair because I don’t personally know the couple. With the recent Netflix docuseries and book release however, I delved a little deeper into the Harry and Meghan of it all, with some occasional side stepping to Will and Kate (I hope they don’t mind my familiar use of their names… though I doubt they would ever read this anyway).
After being exposed to several royal commentators, and looking up information on my own, my opinion started to turn from benefit of the doubt, to being doubtful that the pair actually understood reality, vs the ‘woke’ and new idea of ‘my truth’ (an utterly ridiculous way of describing someone’s perception of reality and their personal experiences rather than the objective and factual one stream reality that actually exists… sorry if you don’t agree but there it is). I saw a wounded man who hadn’t moved past trauma from boyhood, and who was now projecting that onto his wife. I also saw a woman who clearly knew how to move things on the chessboard, and hide her real feelings and motives. BUT, ever the balanced side of the story fan, I wanted to give them another chance to see what I thought may be exaggerated against them (and also for them). So, here we go – two books that I think cover both sides of the coin, the Love Them, and the Hate Them.
Revenge – The “Hate Them” Side
Wow. Boy this was long, and that was without the addition to add some of the new things that have happened with the Sussex’s.
The Writing – This was a well rounded, and researched book. It seemed to me that the author did a good job of trying to get all the facts, and pick up on all the consistencies and inconsistencies. Backing up someone’s claim with at least one person to confirm, or documents as well is the way to make sure your claims and content is believable and solid. It was easy to read (or listen, as my case was) and covered pretty much everything!
The Content – You could tell the side of the fence that Tom Bower is on, but even so, he gave a voice to the other side of the claims and that was really great. Even though it was pointed out and researched when the other side (Harry and Meghan) had inconsistencies in their stories, vague answers that were less proof and more mud slinging, and proved lies, he still noted these things down in fair course. Would this be something H&M would like to see out in the world? Nope. Does it make more sense than the other things they tend to say (including the contradictions)? Yeah. After reading this, Tom’s observations and reporting gave me this final impression:
The Outcome – I heard a story that you would want to be a fairytale of love and finding your “person” but instead it seems like a manipulation and attempt at coercive control. That’s a huge claim, but let’s look at the signs of this: Isolate from support system (check); Denying freedom and autonomy (check – the paps are “everywhere” Harry); Monitor your activity (wouldn’t be surprised); Gaslighting (check as far as I can see); Name calling and criticism (based on the bullying allegations – which I believe – I wouldn’t be surprised, but we can’t prove it); turning your children against you (check, using them as a weapon to get what she wanted); making jealous accusations about time family (check); and a few more…. I think it qualifies.
Unfortunately my days of giving them the benefit are very much done. Too many things have been proven false, or given as such a vague statement which could never be verrified – and shame on the interviewers for NOT following up on these ridiculous moments… what has happened to journalists? I feel that if Tom was allowed to speak with them for an interview (something that would NEVER be allowed on any planet where H&M want to control all the narratives and blindly think they are actually fooling the world – they must think we’re all pretty dumb) he would dig down on these vague statements and ask for clarification.
If H&M really want to tell their “side” of the story, they would stop hiding behind statements like “They didn’t protect us” and instead show us examples, specifics and really explain what this means rather than give the blanket statement. Show us a moment in your life where this was the case… then maybe we’ll believe you. Maybe.
Finding Freedom – The “Love Them” Side
Okay, so as with the previous book I listened to the audio version – with something that I hold only a passing interest in, it certainly made the process easier. I don’t know if it’s my royal commentary watching or having read the “hate them” side before this one, but I did happen to walk into this story with a certain opinion already held.. with that said let’s look at the book itself:
The Writing – Different to Revenge, this book had little to no direct quotes from people that have direct information or knowledge of events. Most of it is written as a biographical style, without any actual provision of evidence that the things discussed really took place.
The Content – It was hugely obvious which side of the aisle these writers were on! Where the previous book gave both potential sides to the story, though the ending claimed Finding Freedom did the same, there was little evidence of this that I noted. Also, with the author Scobie having read the audiobook, it was CLEAR when he was excited about something and when he wasn’t. His tone immediately went down and solemn when discussing Samantha Markle, for example. It did not appear well rounded or researched, and instead felt very much like a LOVE letter to Meghan – leaving Harry quite often in the dust behind the royal family’s “new bright shining star”. The fact that it was even posited that the royal family was concerned that H&M were going to outshine the rest of the family was ludicrous.
The Outcome – The constant name dropping, jumping timelines that felt jerky and out of place, and poor Harry looking more deer in headlights than prince, it was a huge disappointment. The attempt at showing racism (without any direct proof) and virtue signalling (did you KNOW that they watched Moana and The Lion King…) this book is very clearly in the camp of H&M are saints, and the rest of the family and sinners.
The fact that in Chapter 14 and onwards, the authors insist Meghan showed respect for the institution was laughable (literally, I laughed out loud at the hypocrisy). While Meghan gets the credit for basically ANYTHING good that happened in anyone’s life around her (eg. her Dad winning the lottery because it was HER birthday that got the ticket… hello conceited), everyone else gets the credit for all the bad stuff. Not for one minute do I believe that Meghan holds God as important in her life – as evidence from the fruit she has displayed… caught out lying on so very many occasions, and not showing compassion or kindness to staff… yeah that’s not what being a Christian should look like.
Finally, the title and theme of this book made absolutely no sense. It was supposed to be about the couple finding “freedom” but the entire book was essentially the “happy” story of them falling in love and being married, having a kid etc. There was no build up to the event where they decided to leave. No thread throughout that pushed us to the point where we felt relieved when they finally left. Nothing that really made us as the audience feel glad for them when they finally made the choice. Instead it came out of nowhere, and felt just as much a slap in the face as the actual announcement did.
My Thoughts
Okay, so overall how do I feel now after reading both sides of the story (minus of course, reading Spare.. because that’s something I just won’t do)?
I went into this with an opinion that H&M are fame hungry and not particularly considerate people. Willing to step over anyone and anything in their quest to not only appear as the victims, but also as the heroes. Now, I leave feeling pretty much the same way – if not more so.
They have not shown me any evidence in their ACTIONS that proves what they claim. It isn’t just the words, the narrative and the stories/images you want to weave. It’s the proof in the pudding… it’s showing people that you have the gumption to follow up on what you claim even when you have nothing to gain.
So, while I don’t have firsthand knowledge on their lives or their situation, I can safely say that my opinion on the couple will not improve until they have demonstrated that instead of victim, they want to actually contribute to society in a positive way. Shouting at people to control their implicit bias and telling us we’re bad people, all the while saying that they can help us out of the muck… that isn’t inspiring. It’s insulting.
I think Harry and Meghan have a long ways to go if they want to gain back the trust of the rest of the world!
*I don’t want to get sued, so just to confirm ALL the points made are my personal opinions and are in no way intended to portray actual facts… as I don’t have any personal connections that would provide proof of anything, in any way… okay great
See You in the Adventures
Christy Grace
Christy Grace Scarlet Pen 